Biking... again?

I haven't been biking for about 2-3 months, I think. Too much going on in my head to make me care about going out to exercise. Mostly because I haven't been in the mood, or just plain depressed about life. Most parts of my life are going well, but other parts are just blah.

But finally today I went out for a short bike ride, for a start. It was about 30 mins I would say. I really didn't want to go. I was in no mood to even want to get out of bed but I forced myself to get up. I kept going back and forth about going out biking. It just feels like a waste of time. Even if I do this, it's not going to get me faster to where I want to be in life.

This is how it went down. I got ready, "I don't want to go." I ate a short breakfast, "I don't want to go." I got all my stuff and went out to get my bike, "I don't want to go." I filled up my water bottle, "I don't want to go." I took my bike out of the garage, "I don't want to go." I went back into the house to get my knee brace because I forgot to put it on, "I could just sit here and not go." Left the house and went to the backyard to get my bike, "Blaah, blaah." Got my bike, put on my helmet and gloves, "This is annoying. I hate this." Got on my bike and sat on it for 20 seconds until I finally went riding. I realize my opponent (myself) was beating on me the whole time and trying to make me not to go. I"m glad I didn't listen and just went with what I know I should be doing.

It's hard trying to do the right things for yourself.  Most of the time you should just go with what your instincts tell you to do and just do it. But right now I'm going to start off slow. Going out biking for 30 mins... until I'm back to an hour plus like I used to. Slowly get my self into the rhythm I was in. I don't want to just jump in immediately... I feel that would not be a good thing for myself. I think I need to take my time, so I can on my own feel the want for it. Right now I still don't feel it, but when I was out there riding, I felt it.

-Glad